Central Chile was the bee's knees. A distant memory now, my introduction to South America in 2016 was a wonderful, vibrant one. I learnt a lot about the culture—the history, the art, the alcohol. Of course, I'm obviously no expert on the area as I only spent a measly two weeks in this narrow country and was far too lazy to trek it to the South or the North. Nonetheless, I discovered some incredible places, met some hilarious and kind people, drank all of the liquids and experienced the usual amount of misfortune and humiliation that any trip provides at the expense of my ever-dwindling dignity.

Hock Highlights

La Chascona

Hidden away in the windy cobblestoned laneways of hip suburb Bella Vista in Santiago lays one of three of Pablo Neruda's epic houses. There are equal amounts of fascinating history and puzzling decor to ingest at this obscure, uneven museum. Neruda's quirky personality and poetry are apparent as you navigate the levels, and his dedicated love for partner Matilde Urrutia displayed throughout the structure is impressive, albeit bittersweet when muddled with the story of his life and death.

Boxed Wine = A Good Time

The Chilean beverages are interesting, to say the least. They add strawberry juice to their red wine and red wine to their Diet Coke. The piscos are heaven in a glass, but an ice cream terremoto will give you Diabetes in a matter of minutes and is surely more terrifying than the earthquake of its origin name. You can buy a 1.2L cerveza from any corner store for about $2 and return the bottle the next day for a partial refund (props for recycling, save the earth!). My ultimate favourite discovery was that of the Gato boxed red wine. Sorry, what? You heard correctly. You reckon the modest box of Fruity Lexia from your Goon of Fortune years was where it’s at? Wrong. The majestic receptacle is built like that of a tall long-life milk carton, complete with decorated visuals of the bottled version on the packaging just for kicks. LEL.

Cute Quiltro

The street dogs! I die! Chile has the most well-groomed, well-mannered strays (quiltros), ever. And there are literally thousands of them. Like a baby's first word, I became exceptional at one very important Spanish phrase, screaming "HOLA PERRITO!!!!" at any dog that would give me the slightest bit of interest. There was one incident where I approached a gorgeous little sausage, skulking up behind him in excitement, only to have him shrivel away from me in terror (story of my life). But aside from that, yeah, the dogs rocked.

Designing in Valpo

Anyone that has been to the colourful port town of Valparaiso will join me in saying that it is incredible. “Valpo” is a city full of history, design and pink sunsets only a western coast can grant you. The phenomenal street art alone was enough to win me over. Each morning I would take my laptop to a cafe overlooking the ocean and pastel-painted houses blanketing the hills and design in the sunshine. This, this is the dream.

Los Andes

You can see the Andes from everywhere in Chile. I mean, I knew they bordered the length of the entire country, but they're freakin' everywhere. They greeted me on my descent into Santiago, overshadowed me as I wandered the city, shimmered in the distance from the coast and hugged me as I exited the country straight through them. I bused across the border from Chile to Argentina and would highly suggest this form of crossing if applicable. The roads tightly wind all the way to the top of the Andes, leading to the border crossing. Immigration is literally at the peak of a mountain surrounded by snow. It's frostbite-inducing, jaw-dropping, and so unique.

Top Tanith Tips

Aussies + Mexicans Flying Into Chile: Cough Up For The Reciprocity Fee

Upon landing internationally via plane, you will need to pay an exorbitant fee in US dollars (they accept cards at the Santiago airport). If you cross a border rather than flying in, you don't need to pay. WHY?! Mate, I don't have all the answers. I'm just a gal trying to help out her fellow travellers with some tips and the occasional giggle. Sue me for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Coffee In The Morning

Santiago. Tick. Brilliant coffee. Tick. Cute cafe decor. Tick. Hipster baristas. Tick. If you're just a regular, stock-standard human being that cannot operate appropriately or even THINK about speaking to another person in the morning without having your double shot latte, then go to either Bloom Cafe or Colmado (a block away from each other). The baristas at Bloom taught me some top-notch Chilean lingo, and the ones at Colmado gave me a little note inscribed "beautiful :)", so, you know, it's a hard choice to choose the winner between the two. Look, I'm sure there are more than just those two places that have Melbournian-froth-worthy coffee but do you reeeeaaally want to take your chances?

Walking Down San Cristobal Hill At Night Is A No-Go

Watching the sun set over all of Santiago from the top of the San Cristobal hill is nothing short of divine. Walking back down while it's dark—not so divine. There are NO SIGNS for la salida ANYWHERE, and there are multiple instances where the path splits into four without further direction. Two hours into a supposed 30-minute walk, me and a fellow female explorer found ourselves in the middle of a highway without sidewalks, walking through abandoned bushland, back up the hill and amongst a zoo. Just... take the damn cable car.

Dem Piscos Tho

The Chilean-style pisco sours are Next Level. They're stronger and (in the locals’ opinion) tastier than the Peruvian-style piscos also on offer across Chile. Whether this is a nationwide "reward" of sorts for choosing the drink of the motherland over its northern sister or just a handful of biased bartenders, we will never know. One evening in Valpo with my new favourite Germans, Anne and Cindy, I treated myself to a pisco palate party. Anne and I had one singular pisco each, while Cindy ordered a Peruvian. I promise you; I have never had anything tastier that has made me so immediately tipsy IN MY LIFE. Anne and I spent the night stumbling around the city, falling all over precariously abandoned road workings (who put that hole there?), scouring for a midnight (8 pm) snack, and yelling obscenities at each other while Cindy looked on, ashamed of us (jealous). ONE. PISCO.

Just Being Jess

iPod Touch(y)

One week into my trip, and five minutes into my arrival at Valpo, I had flung my brand spankin' iPod across the length of a convenience store. In a bid to hurriedly get cash out from an ATM (the girl needed an empanada), I wrestled my debit card out of my wallet, which obviously meant this was far too many things for me to juggle and required coordination beyond my capacity. My motor skills chose to sacrifice the iPod, which FLEW across the top of the shelves, to the other side of the room, onto the floor, shattering the screen and my soul. Get a grip, Jess.

Farewell, Kindle

When your iPod is broken, turn to your book. NAY. Not for me. Didn't even get to finish my current read before some slimy sucker nabbed it while I was at a bus station. At this rate, I'll break or lose all my things by the end of the month and have nothing to carry me through the rest of the year. See you soon, Mum!

Slippery Slides

I spent my 26th birthday in Valparaiso. I was so elated to spend the first day of my new age bracket (26-30 and heading rapidly downhill) inspired and invigorated by this phenomenal city that I momentarily forgot that the universe already decided that I was destined for a life of awkwardness and embarrassment from the age of seven onwards (life was real cute before that). While walking to meet friends for birthday celebrations, I entered a pub to ask for directions but wasted absolutely no time slipping over in a puddle of water at the entrance in front of a bemused and unhelpful crowd. Seven weeks on, and my shoulder still hurts. WHY WAS THERE WATER ON LINO, THE SLIPPERIEST OF ALL THE FLOORS, AT A BAR? WHY DID MY BODY HAVE TO FOLD ITSELF INTO A MANGLED PRETZEL ON THE WAY DOWN, AND NOT EVEN IN A CUTE PHOEBE-BUFFAY WAY? WHY DID THEY JUST STARE AT ME AS I UNFURLED MYSELF BACK INTO HUMAN FORM? Because Jess, that's why.

Travel Tips: A Chunk Of Chile